Monday, August 15, 2011

Youngling

A major bookstore chain was going out of business and Family G splurged on the 50% or more off deals. We never buy those fancy pop-up books just because they are so darn expensive but since the sale prices were so good, K got her pick. For tonight's bed time story, K wanted to read her new fairy pop-up book. The first page was filled with gruesome pictures of beautiful maidens turning in to trolls and naughty toddlers morphing in to devilish imps. Well, this scared K a little bit. After our usual after story snuggle:


Kesiah: Daddy, I'm still a little scared.
Dad: Babe, you know fairies aren't real right?
Kesiah: (nervously) yeah
Dad: And you like fairies like Tinker Bell and Silver Mist.
Kesiah: yeah but I'm still scared.
Kesiah: Can, I sleep with my lightsaver (translation: lightsaber)?
Dad: Sure babe, let me get it.
Dad: (returning with her lightsaber) Here you go sweetie.
Kesiah: I might turn it on. Sometimes. Is that alright?
Dad: Of course sweetie.
Kesiah: You know, to chase away anything that may try to get me.

I couldn't help it. There was additional snuggling time. She seemed to be asleep so I left. For the next thirty minutes, three times I heard a familiar "SWOOSH". She activated her lightsaber but never called for me. Ten minutes after that, I took this picture:



Camp Nana Stories

K was having a weekend sleep over at Nana's. We called it the Camp Nana weekend. During dinner, Grampa Mac was taken back by K's charms:

Grampa Mac: Munchin, you are just so pretty.
Kesiah: Thank you.
Grampa Mac: Well, what else is there to say.
Kesiah: You're welcome.

Friday, July 29, 2011

A Lesson to Take Away

Just 10 mins ago, Evin and Kesiah were working on subtraction. Evin decided to work on subtracting 0.

Mom: If you had three cookies and gave me none. How many would you have?
Kesiah: All of them
Mom: Which is?
Kesiah: Not nice.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Belly laughs

This afternoon, as I prepared a sandwich, the child walks into the kitchen:
K: I'm going to go play with my belly button!
E: o_O
Turned, walked to the comfy chair and did just that.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Capoeira

As most of you already know, Family G has been busy taking Capoeira the last few months. This all started with a request from K to learn drums, dancing, martial arts, and acrobatics. I'm not surprised considering this kid requested to have a monster/princess/purple themed birthday party only to be followed by a robot/space/princess themed birthday party the next year.

Luckily for us, Capoeira is an elegant solution to her eclectic wish and does not require any quick thinking and jerry riggin' on our part. By the way, it also is a solution that is easy on the pocket book considering that K gets the bonus of learning a little Portuguese on the way. /Begin Shameless Plug. The teachers at Capoeira Maculele Decatur are the BEST with kids and their adults classes are challenging, fun, and encouraging. Check them out: http://capoeiradecatur.com/ /End Shameless Plug.

A really fun part of Capoeira is receiving an apelido or nickname. I won't go in to the history of an apelido here but do check it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capoeira#Apelido. At first K was apprehensive about Capoeira and at times is still intimidated by some of the movement. We are PROUD that she stands up to this challenge but we still set up milestones to keep her inspired (i.e. After entering a Roda, she earned her uniform). Since receiving my apelido, K has been curious as to what hers would be. Seeing an opportunity to add more inspiration, I told her that if she keeps going to Capoeira she will eventually get one too. K enjoyed predicting what her nickname would be:

Kesiah: I think it will be PRINCESS!
Dad: I think it will be some sort of flower.
Kesiah: How about Special K? (Thanks Femi!)
Dad: Well, we don't choose it. It's given to us.
Kesiah: I hope I get princess!

Apelidos are based on your personality, a physical trait, or anything that uniquely identifies you. There was no doubt in my mind that when K gets hers, it would be something endearing and cute. I am seriously biased but if I have to pick one talent of K's, it would be her ease in putting a smile on your face. Speaking of, last week we had a visiting instructor from Brazil. He is an intimidating, tattooed, pierced, muscle bound hulk of a man. A few parents watching the class enquired "does he ever smile?" Well guess what, he did and only after he interacted with K. In case you are the intimidating, tattooed, pierced, muscle bound instructor reading this, you are VERY sweet and great with the kids! It is an honor to have you in ATL. Alright back to blogging...

Today, Evin reached her own milestone. She finished the beginner sessions and joined us in the regular class. Can I tell you how awesome it is to have my partner in crime, my heart and strength, my other reason for living taking Capoeira with me??? Well, it's awesome! Not only was E joining the regular classes, through a series of unfortunate events the head of our group, our master from Brazil or Mestre is stuck in ATL for a couple months. I feel for him and his family but what a boon for us. Evin explained to K that it is especially important to not interrupt us during class with Mestre Fran here. After a sushi bribe was made, K was ready to comply. Class went without incident from K, except for a brief case of the "meows". For some reason, K was watching class and became inspired to meow LOUDLY for a few seconds. It was a funny reprieve from a challenging and sweaty class. After class, Mestre Fran gathered us together for our end of class pep talk:

Mestre Fran: Portuguese Portuguese Portuguese Portuguese (points to Evin and me).
Mestre Fran: Portuguese Portuguese Portuguese Portuguese.
Mestre Fran: Portuguese Portuguese (points to Evin and me) Portuguese.
Mestre Fran: Portuguese Portuguese Portuguese Portuguese
Juba (my instructor): Portuguese Portuguese Married Portuguese
Mestre Fran: AH!!!! Portuguese Portuguese Capoeira family Portuguese
Juba: Portuguese Portuguese Kesiah (gestures describing someone short and points to Evin and me).
Mestre Fran: (inquisitive look)
Everyone: Portuguese "Meow! Meow!"
Mestre Fran: Ah! Gatinha!
Everyone: Nickname! Apelido!
Evin: Oh! Her apelido!
Mestre Fran: It means um... ah...
Everyone: pantomiming a sexy lady
Evin: (Shoots the hairy eyeball at Mestre Fran)
Mestre Fran (Hands in a defensive pose): No no no... it also means um... um...
Mestre Fran's daughter: Sweetheart
Mestre Fran: Yes, sweetheart.
Evin: Ok! (BIG SMILE)
JackieChan (Thinking to himself): What's going on?

After Evin explained to me that K received her apelido (all the Portuguese dumbfounded me) and what it was, she grabbed K and brought her to Mestre Fran to hear it from him. She was ECSTATIC! She went around the room telling everyone and I joined her by showing everyone my "glyph" tattoo to show how fitting it was.

Gatinha is definitely fitting for her now but when she becomes a teenage Capoeirsta the other meaning... well, let's just say that I'm glad she's learning how to kick people.

So in honor of K receiving her apelido, here's the video of K earning her uniform.
video

Friday, May 27, 2011

Kesiahtarians Eat See Food

It truly is remarkable to see K develop and grow. Exploring the rules of this world, and the ever malleable rules of personal interaction with various people of varying roles, this little kid navigates this quagmire of do's, don'ts, and maybes soaring like a leaf on the wind (Thanks Wash!). K carefully traverses the not-so-mutually exclusive intersections of the desire to conform, to please, and to be unique exuding confidence, inserting her own sense of self, and displaying that cute, gentle, and often hilarious way she does things (I'm calling it K Style). Blending all these factors, K came home one day after school and announced she is a Vegan.

Apparently, there is a Vegan in her class and K was completely impressed with the special meals Vegans eat. The concept of dietary restrictions never was considered, especially when you can do neat stuff like eat Vegan burgers and Vegan cookies and wear Vegan clothes and maybe drive the Vegan mobile.

Speaking of Vegan clothes, I wondered just now if Vegans wear wool, so instead of visiting "http://lmgtfy.com/?q=do+vegan+wear+wool", I asked E:

N: Do vegans wear wool?
E: I guess some do. As long as it's organic or cruelty free.
N: Cruelty free? Oh, so you mean they don't shave them in to mohawks.
E: Oh no, they do.
N: Oh. So, they don't make fun of them? At least not to their face?
E: Oh no, they say "You got a F***IN' cool mohawk, sheep!"

Anyway, we are not opposed to K trying this out and we would be supportive if you chose to do it. In fact, E recommend we try it for one week. After trying Veganism for one day, K ask for a glass of milk with her dinner:

Dad: You know baby, Vegans do not eat any animal product. That means no honey or milk.
Mom: Or cheese or ice cream.
Kesiah: Oh.
Dad: Well, you can try to be a Vegetarian. They eat dairy products and honey but no meat.
Kesiah: I'm a VEGETARIAN!
Mom: We'll ALL do that for a week then. (I think E looked at my belly when she said that)
Dad: Well, there are also Pescatarians. They eat fish. I did that for a long time.
Kesiah: I'm a VEGETARIAN!

Well, the week went by and it was fine. K was loving it. She would tell everyone about it. She was proud and felt special. So we decided to keep it for up for as long as K could. The next following week, E was again gallivanting in Europe saving hapless dancers from disconnected swingouts and the like. Sure it was going to be just K and I, but I fully intended to stick with her Vegetarian diet. The first day of Evin being away, I had a tough day and had to work a little late. I picked up K from the babysitter and still had yet to make dinner. We were three steps out of the babysitter's home when:

Kesiah: I'm hungry.
Dad: So am I. Here's the thing. I do not feel like cooking.
Kesiah: Can we go to a restaurant?
Dad: Sure
Kesiah: Let's go for SUSHI!
Dad: Sorry sweetheart but Vegetarians don't eat fish. We can go for cheese pizza. That has no meat in it.
Kesiah: What are vegetarian that eat fish called again?
Dad: Pescatarians
Kesiah: I'm a Pescatarian!

Well, she got her sushi. Too bad. I really wanted pizza. By the way, K has been keeping up with her dedication to Pescatarianism with only one brief lapse when she was sick and wanted chicken soup.

By "Fairy" We Don't Mean Gay and Other Inappropriate Moments





Last weekend, we took K to the Georgia Renaissance Festival or as she calls it now "Fairy Land". She got all dolled up in her favorite fairy costume, her favorite fairy wings, even her socks had her favorite fairy on them, Silvermist. Evin even did her hair in incredibly fancy pants fairy (French) braids. On the way there, we listened to fairy music which E and I quickly defined as the album "Treasure" by Cocteau Twins.

Armed with her scepter and homemade fairy wand, we entered the Land of the Fae and quickly sought out royalty. After some time, fairy spotting and royalty searching can build an appetite. On our way to Ye Ol' Food Court, we discovered the Queen of the Fae holding court in the pavilion. Like we had a choice... we took seats in the pavilion. Fairy friends and visiting fairies were presented to the queen and receive fairy wishing stones. Those were FREE! Awesome! The pics here are of K's presentation.

Anyway, the woodland fairy served as entertainment for the queen and performed song and dance. The queen requested a jest and the woodland fairy obliged with many G rated jokes. After exhausting her repertoire, she asked those in attendance, "Does anyone have a joke for the queen?" K was the first raise her hand.

Woodland Fairy: Do you have a jest for her majesty?
Kesiah: What do you get when you cross a chicken and a brown cow?
Dad: Er.. um.. uh... um... (mouthing silently "we did not teach this to her")
Woodland Fairy: I do not know little fairy. What DO you get when you cross a chicken and a brown cow?
Kesiah: (in her best 1970's movie disco music) BROWN CHICKEN BROWN COW
Dad: (hangs head in shame)
Mom: (shakes head in embarrassment)
Crowd: HAHAHAHAHA!
Fairy Queen: Oh my!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Laser Flower Continues...

Ever since K invented the Laser Flower on New Years Eve, she has been finding ways to insert it in to her play at least weekly. Like all jokes that are repeated, they evolve and take on a life of their own (eh hem, "Ask me if I'm a truck.") This is K's latest permutation of the Laser Flower joke:

Kesiah: Daddy, do you have a laser flower?
Dad: Um, nope.
Kesiah: If you did... DON'T TURN IT ON!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Domo Arigato


Not too long ago I posted pics of Evin's notes to K demonstrating where K may get her sweet side:

http://iamatruck.blogspot.com/2010/11/apple-falls-not-far-at-all.html

Let's not forget that this kid loves robots, wants homemade spaceships for her Barbie dolls, wants to build a spaceship to go to Mars, and has already requested a robot/space/princess themed birthday party.

Here's an example of one of my notes.

Uncanny, Isn't it?



I am used to people remarking on how K and I look alike. Personally, I think she is a perfect blend of Evin and I but apparently we are all wrong. Behold (Evin's picture is in B&W):

Rocking the Manischewitz

This past Saturday morning, the Family G went to a neighborhood kid oriented and adult friendly Shabbat service. During the service, the host led the kids in a song and stopped at each kid asking them what they like about Shabbat.

Host: (in song) What do you like?
Host: (in song) What do you like?
Host: (in song) What do you like about Shabbat?
Host: And what's your name?
Kesiah: Kesiah!
Host: What do you like about Shabbat?
Kesiah: When we get to drink the wine!
Host: (in song) Kesiah likes...
Host: (in song) Kesiah likes...
Host: (in song) Kesiah likes to drink the Wine!

Awkward Turtle

The other day K and I were having dinner and quietly for once. Without any prompting, K decides to break the silence:

Kesiah: Vagina!
Dad: What?!
Kesiah: That's my favorite word.
Dad: (chuckling) Why?
Kesiah: I like the way it sounds.
Kesiah: Va
Kesiah: Gi
Kesiah: Na
Kesiah: Vagina!

Friday, January 14, 2011

If you don't have anything nice to say...don't sit next to Kesiah

So the other night we hosted Shabbat dinner at our house and had a lovely time with the enormous J clan around our table. During the course of conversation, we started talking about someone who was causing a lot of trouble in one of our lives.

Us: This person is so annoying! They think they're so great, but they're so so so annoying!!
Kesiah: Mommy? Do I know this person?
Mommy: No, sweetheart
Us: Arrgh! Could this person be more annoying???? And unethical!!??
Kesiah: Does anyone like this person?
Mommy: Yes, honey, some people like this person
Us: And another thing! About this person!!
Kesiah: (hands over her ears) STOP! Everybody, stop!

All of us fell silent.

Mommy: You're right, Kesiah. We shouldn't say all these things, should we?

Better than a Rabbi, Kesiah is the Loshon Hara police.

**NB "Loshon Hara" translated literally is evil tongue/language. It's the Hebrew word for gossip or speaking ill of someone. And for the record, it wasn't, technically. Because it was done in the context of gaining advice and insight. So there.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Birds of a Feather

On the way to the car from a restaurant, K wanted to pretend that she was a mommy bird teaching her chicks (her mommy and daddy) how to fly:

Kesiah: Everyone! Flap your wings and fly my babies!
Kesiah: Oh no! The wind is blowing us around.
Kesiah: Everyone, blow the wind off.
Dad: Is that like fighting fire with fire?
Kesiah: Blow the wind off, my babies!
Dad: Is that like getting dry using a garden hose?
Kesiah: Stop that daddy. It is quite annoying.

Haha! She is sooooo much like her mommy.

The Great Potato Phantom

K wanted to play zombies.... again. But this time, there is a new twist:

Kesiah: Dad, let's be zombies!
Dad: Okay, arrrrrgh!
Again, Kesiah goes in to the rules again on how zombies don't eat each other... again.
Dad: Okay, got it. Arrrrrrgh!
Kesiah: Wait, hold your hands like this.
She holds her arms in front of her at waist level with her palms pointed up. It is obvious she is pretending to carry something heavy.
Dad: Why? What's that about?
Kesiah: You're holding a big potato.

After a while of playing zombies, K became a person again. Haha! I'm still a zombie! Now here's my chance to get some scrumptious K fanny:

Dad: I'm still a zombie. ARRRRGH!
I open my mouth wide and make my way slowly to K.
Kesiah: If you're hungry, just take a bite out of your big potato.

Foiled by the foresight of a 4yo.

Paper Cornflakes

After playing in the snow this morning, Evin and K retired inside to enjoy some hot cocoa and a warm breakfast. This demonstrates the downside of telecommuting. Poor productive me could not join the fabulous snow bunny duo on their frozen adventure. Instead, I needed more coffee and embarked on my own java adventure when I happened upon the weary campaigners warming their toes and tummies:

Mom: Hey Dad! We're going to make snowflakes after breakfast.
Dad: Really? Neat!
Kesiah: How do you make snowflakes out of breakfast?
Mom: Hee hee, not breakfast honey. Paper. We are going to make snowflakes out of paper.
Kesiah: Oh, I thought you said to daddy that we are going to make snowflakes out of breakfast.
Mom: I don't even know how to do that.
Kesiah: I know how but I need some dry cereal.
Mom: I bet you can but we are going to stick to paper.

I was making my way back to the office when I looked at Kesiah as she announced her breakfast transformation skills. I have never seen her this serious before.

Well That Explains it

One Friday night, I was watching K while she brushed her teeth before bed. Normally she does this alone but she asked me to keep her company. Thinking I may have "favored" status, I tried to get the most cherished snuggle time that seems to be mainly reserved for mommy.

Dad: Hey Kesiah, I'm going to snuggle with you for a bit tonight, okay?
Kesiah: I have an idea. How about I sleep in Mommy's and Daddy's bed and I can snuggle both of you.
I turned to look at Evin to see if she was cool with it. I gots the silent approval.
Dad: Sure baby but the last time we did this, you spent the whole night on Mommy's side. I would like some snuggling too.
Kesiah: I want to tell you something but I don't want you to feel bad.
Dad: What is it my dear?
Kesiah: Sometimes you don't smell so good.

Monday, January 3, 2011

NYE Coloring



As promised, here is the picture K colored as explained in "NYE Weekend with the K". Read it to understand it's full glory!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Give 'em what they want

Kesiah, still a four year old when it comes to gift etiquette and also not a fan of receiving clothing, was losing patience with her loot and booty on Chanukah. After outfit number two, the exasperated child sighed, "Ugh! I don't WANT clothes!"

Mommy: It's much nicer to just say "Thank you"
Kesiah: Why?
Mommy: [insert brief explanation of gift-giving] Also, how would you feel if someone said they didn't like a gift you gave them?
Kesiah: I'd like it!
Mommy: (dubious of this answer) oh, really?
Kesiah: Yes. Because then, I could say "Oh! I'm sorry, let me get you something else!"


NYE Weekend with the K

The family went to Asheville to celebrate NYE at Lindy Focus. K's wit sure did make an appearance.

After exiting a stinky bathroom:

Kesiah: When I grow up, I'm not going to let anyone poopy in my bathroom.

While eating out in Asheville:

Kesiah: Don't touch me 'cause I'm electric and if you touch me you get SHOCKED!

While out having NYE dinner with Paddy and Macy:

Kesiah: I don't like the duck. It stings me.
Kesiah: Excuse me, I want to tell you something.
Server: Yes, how can I help you?
Kesiah: Tell the chef that the duck has stingers.
Server: The duck has stingers?
Kesiah: Yes and tell him to remove the stingers from the lamb. I don't like them.
Server: I'm sure the chef wants to know that. I will make sure there are no stingers in your food.

While playing at the main NYE dance at Lindy Focus:

Kesiah: Let's pretend we're zombies.
Dad: Sure, Rowwrrr!
Kesiah: But we don't eat each other. We are nice to each other. We only eat other people.

Also at the Lindy Focus NYE party:

Kesiah: (coloring in her book) Look daddy!
Dad: Hmmm... that's pretty.
Kesiah: She has a laser flower. It's shooting her in the face and making her cry.

Yeah, I'll have to post a pic of that one.