Friday, May 27, 2011

Kesiahtarians Eat See Food

It truly is remarkable to see K develop and grow. Exploring the rules of this world, and the ever malleable rules of personal interaction with various people of varying roles, this little kid navigates this quagmire of do's, don'ts, and maybes soaring like a leaf on the wind (Thanks Wash!). K carefully traverses the not-so-mutually exclusive intersections of the desire to conform, to please, and to be unique exuding confidence, inserting her own sense of self, and displaying that cute, gentle, and often hilarious way she does things (I'm calling it K Style). Blending all these factors, K came home one day after school and announced she is a Vegan.

Apparently, there is a Vegan in her class and K was completely impressed with the special meals Vegans eat. The concept of dietary restrictions never was considered, especially when you can do neat stuff like eat Vegan burgers and Vegan cookies and wear Vegan clothes and maybe drive the Vegan mobile.

Speaking of Vegan clothes, I wondered just now if Vegans wear wool, so instead of visiting "", I asked E:

N: Do vegans wear wool?
E: I guess some do. As long as it's organic or cruelty free.
N: Cruelty free? Oh, so you mean they don't shave them in to mohawks.
E: Oh no, they do.
N: Oh. So, they don't make fun of them? At least not to their face?
E: Oh no, they say "You got a F***IN' cool mohawk, sheep!"

Anyway, we are not opposed to K trying this out and we would be supportive if you chose to do it. In fact, E recommend we try it for one week. After trying Veganism for one day, K ask for a glass of milk with her dinner:

Dad: You know baby, Vegans do not eat any animal product. That means no honey or milk.
Mom: Or cheese or ice cream.
Kesiah: Oh.
Dad: Well, you can try to be a Vegetarian. They eat dairy products and honey but no meat.
Kesiah: I'm a VEGETARIAN!
Mom: We'll ALL do that for a week then. (I think E looked at my belly when she said that)
Dad: Well, there are also Pescatarians. They eat fish. I did that for a long time.
Kesiah: I'm a VEGETARIAN!

Well, the week went by and it was fine. K was loving it. She would tell everyone about it. She was proud and felt special. So we decided to keep it for up for as long as K could. The next following week, E was again gallivanting in Europe saving hapless dancers from disconnected swingouts and the like. Sure it was going to be just K and I, but I fully intended to stick with her Vegetarian diet. The first day of Evin being away, I had a tough day and had to work a little late. I picked up K from the babysitter and still had yet to make dinner. We were three steps out of the babysitter's home when:

Kesiah: I'm hungry.
Dad: So am I. Here's the thing. I do not feel like cooking.
Kesiah: Can we go to a restaurant?
Dad: Sure
Kesiah: Let's go for SUSHI!
Dad: Sorry sweetheart but Vegetarians don't eat fish. We can go for cheese pizza. That has no meat in it.
Kesiah: What are vegetarian that eat fish called again?
Dad: Pescatarians
Kesiah: I'm a Pescatarian!

Well, she got her sushi. Too bad. I really wanted pizza. By the way, K has been keeping up with her dedication to Pescatarianism with only one brief lapse when she was sick and wanted chicken soup.

By "Fairy" We Don't Mean Gay and Other Inappropriate Moments

Last weekend, we took K to the Georgia Renaissance Festival or as she calls it now "Fairy Land". She got all dolled up in her favorite fairy costume, her favorite fairy wings, even her socks had her favorite fairy on them, Silvermist. Evin even did her hair in incredibly fancy pants fairy (French) braids. On the way there, we listened to fairy music which E and I quickly defined as the album "Treasure" by Cocteau Twins.

Armed with her scepter and homemade fairy wand, we entered the Land of the Fae and quickly sought out royalty. After some time, fairy spotting and royalty searching can build an appetite. On our way to Ye Ol' Food Court, we discovered the Queen of the Fae holding court in the pavilion. Like we had a choice... we took seats in the pavilion. Fairy friends and visiting fairies were presented to the queen and receive fairy wishing stones. Those were FREE! Awesome! The pics here are of K's presentation.

Anyway, the woodland fairy served as entertainment for the queen and performed song and dance. The queen requested a jest and the woodland fairy obliged with many G rated jokes. After exhausting her repertoire, she asked those in attendance, "Does anyone have a joke for the queen?" K was the first raise her hand.

Woodland Fairy: Do you have a jest for her majesty?
Kesiah: What do you get when you cross a chicken and a brown cow?
Dad: Er.. um.. uh... um... (mouthing silently "we did not teach this to her")
Woodland Fairy: I do not know little fairy. What DO you get when you cross a chicken and a brown cow?
Kesiah: (in her best 1970's movie disco music) BROWN CHICKEN BROWN COW
Dad: (hangs head in shame)
Mom: (shakes head in embarrassment)
Fairy Queen: Oh my!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Laser Flower Continues...

Ever since K invented the Laser Flower on New Years Eve, she has been finding ways to insert it in to her play at least weekly. Like all jokes that are repeated, they evolve and take on a life of their own (eh hem, "Ask me if I'm a truck.") This is K's latest permutation of the Laser Flower joke:

Kesiah: Daddy, do you have a laser flower?
Dad: Um, nope.
Kesiah: If you did... DON'T TURN IT ON!