The Hebrew Hammer

During Kesiah's first week of official pre-school, she has been coming home and describing the actions of this one boy that sounded very much like bullying. Pushing, yelling, taking toys, etc. My first reaction was complete rage. I wanted to tell her to just hit the kid back but I reminded myself of a past not-so-proud parenting moment that I will eventually blog about later.

Anyway, level-headed Evin took the more diplomatic approach that would instill confidence, as well as, mitigate the bullying action. Evin's approach empowered Kesiah with several options and, most importantly, the language to deal with the situation. Needless to say, my heart was breaking at the idea that my sweet little girl had to deal with such a stressful situation instead of being free to explore and learn.

One morning while I was apparently stressing about this, K paid me a visit before she left for school...

While I was shaving there was a knock on the door:

Kesiah: (knocking on the bathroom door) Daddy?
Dad: Come in sweetie.
Kesiah: We're leaving!
Dad: I love you baby. You know what to do when name-omitted pushes you, right?
Kesiah: Daddy, I'm brave and strong and I stand up for myself.

Now that warmed my heart but did little to calm the anger and worry. C'mon, this is MY little girl! When I came home from work I asked her about the bully...

Dad: Anything happen on the playground today with name-omitted?
Kesiah: I told him NEVER do that again!
Dad: Great! That's very brave of you. What did he do?
Kesiah: He pushed me.
Dad: Today? He pushed you on the playground today?
Kesiah: No, the other day.
Dad: I mean what did he do today?
Kesiah: Nothing. I just said that and he left me alone.
Dad: You said that TODAY but he didn't do anything?
Kesiah: Yes and now he leaved me alone.

Now that's my proactive girl!

I know only one way to deal with bullies.... you punch them HARD then tell the teacher. After speaking with many of you, I know most agree with me. However, after speaking with her teacher, I learned that this kid just turned 4 and has an issue with manners (ie. sharing, taking turns, standing in line etc.) This kid nudges others to cut in line, grabs toys without asking, and likes to yell. That's not a bully. That's just a 4 year old that needs to learn how to play well with others. If we followed my strategy, then K would have escalated unnecessarily and would have appeared a bully herself. I am HAPPY to say I AM WRONG! Thank you Evin!